Supported The High School Freshman's Spring Concert and Art Show. (✍✅)

David Bowie died today

Gabi singing Skinny Love

This Post Is About Promposals, John Mellencamp and What I am Willing To Bet

Let me backtrack.

I was engaged and married in 1993.
When Steve asked me to marry him, I think it was the dead of winter, and we were in the back room of my sister's house in Rochester, New York.
As I recall, he sort of mumbled something about marriage and then unceremoniously handed me an engagement ring.
(In his defense, my visa was expiring...)

As the years went on, I would meet more and more couples who had an "engagement story."
Scavenger hunts through a park (granted, that couple is now peacefully divorced)
Rings in drinks,
Big signs,
Oceanside or lakeside even pond-side proposals, etc.
And like the whiner that I can be, I would turn to Steve with narrowed accusatory eyes wondering why he could not have been more creative.
He would shrug unapologetic.

The thing is, some chicks dig that.
The question is, when do you give someone what they want, even if it is not your true nature?
When should you honor yourself?

The other night, Steve and I watched John Mellencamp in concert.
We were worried that he would sing unfamiliar songs from his newest album and save his old hits for the end, but we were not disappointed.
Early in his set, John said something along the lines of,
"the next song I am going to sing, I don't really want to sing, in fact I don't know why I am going to sing it except for the fact that you all want me to sing it..."
Then he started to sing "Jack and Diane."
The crowd went wild. The entire place started singing along with him.
He stopped singing and let the audience continue....until EVERYONE (except Steve, who knew) sang the wrong verse!
So he stopped everyone and said: "that's not right."
(everyone ((except Steve)) forgot the 'suckin' on chili dog' verse.

It was extremely funny.

Anyway, I digress.
I bring this up because clearly John Mellencamp weighs what he wants to do with what is wanted of him, and apparently with the right balance--it keeps people loyal.

Let's set that aside.

Have you noticed the craze of promposals lately?
If you've not had a prom going teenager for the past 3.5 years then you would not know what this is.
A promposal is the current trend of asking someone to go the the prom in an extravagant, flamboyant and creative fashion.
I have had the "pleasure" of hosting one such promposal when K helped a boy (friend) ask a girl (friend) of hers right here in my foyer.

When I first heard of promposals, I admit I was initially scornful and dismissive of it.
And then I decided to look deeper into why I felt this way, and I realized that it touched something tender in me.
I think I was still carrying my own (this is embarrassing, I know) disappointment about not getting a creative proposal over 21 years ago! (WTH?!)

Well any drugstore shrink will tell you that you can not get over anything you do not acknowledge so I  take this as a sign of onward movement.
And as a result of upward mobility,  I have now decided to view the trend of promposals as some sort of a training ground.
The promposal type of teenagers today,  may become the more celebratory engaged couples of tomorrow (as opposed to the blase`-too-cool-to-be-demonstrative-types)--who may become the grown adults of the future that will honor their spouses/children/parents/friends in a way the recipients want to be honored.

I am willing to bet that the teenaged boy of today that steps out of his comfort zone to do a creative promposal will mature into a man that honors not only his own mother but  also his wife (if she is a mother) for Mother's Day in a way they would appreciate.

I ain' agin' it 

(that's my slang for: "I am not against it" please try to incorporate this phrase in daily conversations as I would like it to trend)

In the words of John Mellencamp:

"Hold on to sixteen as long as you can,
changes come around real soon
make us women and men...."

Addendum:

My New Goal

 updated 5/5/2015:
Added my video that the guy in that Uptown Funk treadmill dance video, Carson Dean, put a comment in. Cute. Made me laugh. Funny what amuses and distracts us from joy or pain.
Also would like to add that just this week, Steve was running very fast on the treadmill and broke it.
It was JUST repaired! Now I can't dance on it until I get it fixed. Must make a call.

Bird York - In The Deep (from the film Crash)

A Song In My Heart.

Points I Pondered during my dog walk today:

*Replace each difficult thought or longing with a grateful thought.
Nothing is too silly to be grateful for.

*Seek out the good in everyone.

*Inauthentic and unhealthy parts of us shed when we focus on doing what we know deep in our hearts to be truly right.
(people that believe in God call this, following the will of God...while people that do not believe in God might call this following one's moral obligation)

*We are all connected. And love never dies.

*Love is not love unless it is unconditional.

Friday Thoughts.

“Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won't make us happier.” 
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

I am happy to have survived lived through the past two months.

I had vowed to not to be an over-scheduled family but somehow my new found practice of
not complaining landed us in an after-school rat race.

However, such a difference it makes in life when you learn to negotiate traffic, drive distances for the kids' activities, interact with others and tackle stuff without whining. 

Seriously. 

It's over before you know it.
Time flies.
Just flies by.

Now that the volleyball and cross country season is over, my family has reclaimed a few hours here and there--working around Kika's basketball season and Gabi's gymnastics schedule.

So I plan to get them back into the routine of practicing their musical instruments.

Oh, and walking the dog.

I listened to this song by Philip Philips today, while I scrubbed, vacuumed and dusted my entire house this morning. It is a good song.

Speaking of home--I really want to go to Manila soon.
I have been away for too long.

Happy friday--
Be Grateful,
Be Well.

"La Vie En Rose" or "I Don't Like Mondays"

I want to be able to play both songs on the piano.
There are Youtube tutorials that I've found but have not been able to follow.
I may also have Kika and Gabi learn it so that they can teach me.

It's Friday.
I did another over-an-hour-long run this morning.
I think I am officially addicted to running.
I shall no longer put quotation marks on my "runner" status.

Oooops. I did it again.
I just can't believe that I have become a runner.
The-even-in-cold-weather type runner.

Funny how sometimes things you can not ever imagine yourself capable of doing- you find yourself being able to do.

Such as: (in no particular order of importance)

-Sticking my bare hand in the unreachable underlip of our toilets to scrub it well.
-Cook (not after scrubbing the toilet)
-Letting my kids sleep over at a friend's house.
-Giving my kid a cell phone.
-Driving long distances.
-Making my bed every single day.
-Surviving.
-Booking back-to-back activities in advance and not dreading it.
-Thinking before speaking.
-Being a good mother.

Speaking of being a good mother, I finished making Kika's Glinda crown for her Halloween School Dance costume.
Here is a picture of her wearing it:

I shall await your ooooohs and
aaaaaahs.
Yes I am bragging.

I know I am bragging when the thing I am showing off is something I knew full well I could do.
Eventually the running activity I post might degenerate to bragging but-we are not quite there yet.

If I succeed in playing those songs on the piano I shall "share" that too.

Again as I've previously discussed in a post a few months ago--
if it inspires you: then you caught the I'm-just-so-proud-of-myself tone of my message.
If it annoys you: then perhaps you've picked out the element of me that may have been showing off.

The ability to perceive things in a positive light is completely one's choice.

Eckart Tolle, Alanis Morisette and Grocery Shopping.

This is truly one of my favorite quotes.

"Whatever you accept, you go beyond.

That's a miracle.

If you fight it, you are stuck with it."

~Eckhart Tolle

Alanis Morisette, apparently is of the same mind too.

In an interview I read, she said of a song she wrote:

"Yeah, it's really about my grief,  I think the most painful, sort of suffering oriented moments in my life [are] when I'm resisting something… If I just say, 'It's true. I'm unbelievably insecure, really broken, devastated,' then I can move through it, toward the next place. But if I keep resisting it, I'll stay there forever."

I can see this manifesting in my life too.

Whether it is my natural reflexive opposition to driving really far for the girls' back to back after-school commitments,

doing late night division with decimals with Gabi, my difficulty navigating socially awkward situations or something as basic as grocery shopping--I am learning that if I don't fight it-

It ends up going quicker than I thought it would.

And not fighting it allows me insight into what I am grateful for.

Right now I am sitting in the car, having just come from the grocery store.

As I paid the cashier I realized how thankful I am that Steve's hard work allows me to shop for necessities without having to worry about making ends meet.

Growing up in a really large family that had that concern, I fully appreciate this.

So, I texted him my gratitude.

Now I shall unload the groceries and put them away before all the ice cream I bought melts away.

...this email was sent hastily by chesca from her cell phone.

Testing Testing 1..2..3...

chorus lyrics:

Testing 1,2 3

Can anybody hear me?

If I shed the irony

Would anybody cheer me?

If I acted less like me

would I be in the clear?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My friend JB texted me this verse last night:

Consider it all joy; my brethren,

when you encounter various trials,

knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

(James 1: 2, 3)

This morning I waved good bye to my first-born who is off to basketball camp for the weekend.

I was not really ready for her to be away again so soon after she just got home--but there was a switch in dates for this particular camp and so the decision was out of our hands. Well, sort of.

If life were left completely up to me I would have just kept her home.

But Kika wants to get better at basketball and this weekend will give her the opportunity to do just that.

Letting her go reinforces another mantra I am trying to strengthen: It's not about me.

I am going to use Kika's absence as a chance to bond with Gabi.

Our first activity at noon today is a trip to the orthodontist to get her braces removed.

And then I promised her we would color her hair with Kool aid.

Coloring an 11 year old's hair is something that I am not really in favor of doing but again, it's not about me.

I am okay.

Whatever pimple of not okay-ness I might be nursing will be taken care of by the exercise/prayer/meditation routine that I am about to do.

The Barenaked Ladies song should have been entitled: James 1, 2, 3.

If James 1: 2, 3 is correct and that trials produce endurance--I am going to end up a serious marathon live-er....or with a liver that has gone through several marathons.

3 pm update: Braces off!!! Now awaiting Kool aid red hair....

Gave Up Facebook for Forty Days But Replaced it With Chocolate

I heard this song yesterday on Pandora and it reminded me of our two friends CK and C who are getting married soon.
There are different videos and covers of it.
I immediately sent CK a link to
a version by Kathy Mattea
The version that I like the most is sung by Kate Wolf--but whoever posted it, set it to a clip from  Battlestar Galactica. (!!!) (which would explain why I did not send that one to CK)
Give Yourself To Love by Kate Wolf
The woman in that Battlestar Galactica clip looks like my childhood best friend Elaine Henson.

Today is Elaine's birthday. The peculiar thing is, even if I am mentally over the fact that Elaine is gone, my physical state argues differently.
Every single year that her birthday rolls in,  my body kicks into sad mode.
So today I fight it with chocolate.
Lots of it.
I am winning, although I am smiling with chocolate stuck in between my teeth.
Kate Wolf was a folk singer whose death anniversary is December 10th.
December 10th is also the date that Elaine was removed from life support. I'm thinking that I should play these numbers...

CLICK ON THOSE LINKS!
I literally bumped into this song and loved it.
I hope you do too.

"love is born in fire, it's planted like a seed,
love can't give you everything, but it gives you what you need.
And love comes when you're ready, love comes when you're afraid;
It'll be your greatest teacher, the best friend you have made."
~Kate Wolf

Happy Birthday Elaine, I miss you.

But What If You have Two Sisters that were born on Valentine's Day?

Then you know that they are getting inundated with lots of messages and so you have to get creative with your greeting.

Dear Karen,
When I read the hundreds of messages and birthday postings on your Facebook page from friends that span a lifetime, I ponder about you and your amazing qualities:
1. You give what you get.
-you've always taken care of relationships.  You care about everybody.
Everybody, cares about you.
2.  You are a magnet.
-you attract people with your quirky grumpy love that you infuse with your entertaining antics.
People are drawn to you.
3. You are a connecter.
-not only do you relate to various people on different levels but your ability to bring them together and bind them with the most simple of things like pingpong playing, bicycle riding, lambanog drinking and eating the most simple turo-turo food that you won't cook, creates a pull towards you that defies gravity.

If this were your eulogy, I would write about your challenges and your victories.
I would include how much I admire the mother that you are, and I might even throw in a snippet about the best sister that you've been.  But, thank God it's just your birthday and that I have more time to observe, experience and share the beauty of you.

Dear Charissa
Everything Karen learned, she learned from you.
Maybe she did not quite learn any of your culinary skills nor did she pick up your gardening talent--and lambanoging is all hers but YOU set the mold for being caring, magnetic and kind--and you certainly planted various seeds of nuts in her garden called life.
For this I thank you.

For 2012 Valentine's Day/Two Sisters' Birthdays I am posting a clip from a 1969 Film called 'Goodbye Mr. Chips' starring Petula Clark.
Although Karen and Charissa do not have similar personalities,  I could see both of them in the role of Petula Clark singing: "Fill The World With Love."


Fill the World With Love Lyrics:
In the morning of my life I shall look to the sunrise.
At the moment in my life when the world is new.
And the blessing I shall ask is that God will grant me, 
To be brave, and strong and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.


(chorus)
And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.


In the noontime of my life I shall look to the sunshine
At the moment in my life when the sky is blue.
And the blessing I shall ask shall remain unchanging,
To be brave and strong and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.
(chorus)


In the evening of my life I shall look to the sunset,
At a moment in my life when the night is due.
And the question I shall ask only I can answer:
Was I brave and strong and true?
Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my two sisters who celebrate their birthdays on the same day the world celebrates love,
your answer is yes.
Happy Birthday and I love you.

Turn! Turn! Turn!

Was the title of the Byrds album released on December 6, 1965.
¸.♩.. .♬´¯`♬¸¸.♩...♬´¯`♬¸¸.♩..
To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven
-The Byrds

On December 6, 2011, we were headed home from our trip.

When Kika and Gabi were very little, my in-laws invited us to go to Disneyworld.
We declined-- with a promise to our children that we would take them when they were older, like 6 and 8 years old.
Five years ago they turned 6 and 8.
However, five years ago, although Kika and Gabi may have been ready to go, their parents were not.
There is a personality type that is able to "Do Disney" with young children.
And there is certainly a "Couple Type" as well.
To fill this trip* with happy memories, the parents accompanying the children must:
-Be Selfless
-Be Patient
-Be Flexible
-Be in Good Physical Condition
-Work Well as a team
-Be Enthusiastic about Life (singsong voice may be de rigueur)
-Be able to smile and capable of having fun


♬...A time to be born, a time to die.. .♬
This year, for Gabi's birthday-- Steve and I decided that it was the right time to make that trip to Disney World.
As we walked and sprinted around FIVE amusement parks in FOUR days
(capital letters means yes, I am shouting)
as we waited in lines, as we were jostled in crowds of people,
as we asked our children and each other what we wanted to see, do, and eat--
I realized that there was just no way that Steve and I could have done this five years ago.
Five years ago life was different.
Five years ago, I was depressed.
If I believe in God (which I do) and I believe that God has a fixed and appointed time for every one of us to muddle live through each experience of our life, then this voyage to the Big D
(Disney, not Depression) makes a whole lot of sense.

The Byrds' song played in my head as I realized the veracity of Solomon's wisdom when he wrote in the Book of Ecclesiastes,
"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven."(Ecclesiastes 3:1)
_________________________________
*the word trip can be interchanged with the phrase family life.


¯`♬¸¸.♩...A time for peace, I swear it's not too late....♬´¯`♬¸¸.♩.♬

May

A Good Song For May

My sister Karen and her family, after a month stay with us, arrived back in Manila safely.

April

Free

I prayed for rain today.

The 'Black Eyed Peas' are playing tonight-- in a FREE concert at a downtown park.

Free being the operative word, my daughters asked if I could take them.

We will go by public transportation since parking will be impossible.

We will get there FOUR hours before they start if we are to get a decent spot.

We will walk a long way.

We will eat over-priced festival food.

We will get jostled.

We will wait for the Black Eyed Peas.

According to the weather forecast, it is going to be a beautiful evening.

I think I will need a stiff cup of coffee.

***************************************

We walked to the bus stop right after school.

We ended up hitch-hiking a ride to the park.

Thanks to a kind young man that drove us all the way to the concert,

we ended up pretty close to the stage.

All this "good samaritan" asked of us was to:

 "Pay it forward."

As of today, 10/14/09--we have not done it yet, but we will.

Two Other Songs Stuck in my head

Disclaimer:
The following videos are kind of raunchy, not to be shown in polite company
(meaning don't bother clicking on it, my dear parents)
Rated PG-18 (if that rating exists, what do I know)



Sweet Escape: Gwen Stefani



Buttons: Pussy Cat Dolls

I must be approaching menopause if songs like this occupy my mind.
Or perhaps 40 is the new 30.

Any thoughts?

Stuck in my head