Confirmation 2013

At The Spelling Bee.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

Hair Of The Dog

I just 'hair of the dogged' my half-marathon hangover by going for a 3 mile run.

Hair of the dog is a colloquial expression that means curing a hangover by drinking alcohol.
Simply put, it refers to curing something by adding more of it in a "like cures like" manner.
This is somehow consistent, in my mind, with my new practice of "leaning into the sharp points" instead of denying the sharp points exist.

I ran today, either to get over my half-marathon hangover, or to aid me as I mentally prepare for the task of cleaning my home for house guests.
I really need to get rid of all the dog hair in my house before Kika's confirmation weekend.

2013 Marathon Finish Line: 3:00:24-3:10:00 « CBS Pittsburgh

2013 Marathon Finish Line: 3:00:24-3:10:00 « CBS Pittsburgh

I am on the right side of the screen when the race clock reads 3:02.24 pony tailed hair, long white sleeves and black shorts.

May 5, 2013

Before 13.1

After 13.1

Reset Button

The reset button writing technique is a device used by writers to interrupt the flow of a fictional story.
It is an action or a plot put in, that allows the audience to experience the death of the lead character, in order to be able to continue the story in a believable fashion.

My Reset Button is happening this coming May 5th, when I run in my first (and last) Half Marathon.

D is for Digesting

I am sipping coffee to wash down the oatmeal I just ate for breakfast a few minutes ago.
It is past 1 in the afternoon.
I fueled up so that I would have the energy to run before 3 pm--when my afternoon shift begins.
Despite the fact that I made my bed before driving the girls to school (a Deterrent for me to nap in it),
I climbed back into it.

I am not alarmed.
I am trying not to be so rigid.
Even though routine is something really important when one works with being predisposed to you know, D, (I mean Depression, not Donuts)--it is also equally important to take a few breaks.
This morning's Drizzle and being SHOELESS on my Drive home, I took as a sign.

I had another Discussion with my eldest daughter, this time about sharing gum with her sister.
And then right as we pulled up to the school, that sister realized that she had left her sneakers at home.
So I promptly whipped off my one-size-bigger-than-her-feet running shoes, handed it to her, and Drove home in my socks.

Once home, I skipped my morning coffee, skipped my prayer/meditation, skipped cleaning up the morning kitchen mess and went to bed.

While in bed, I realized that a lot of things and experiences that I am grateful for, also wipe me out.
For last night's grand finale for the week, I accidentally dropped my wallet at a movie theater.
It contained an unusually large amount of cash and gift cards in it.
(like $1600.00 large--it's a long story)
We were able to Drive back and retrieve it from one of the employees, (we miraculously knew) who was able to find it, miraculously intact.

So awed by God's goodness, I said to Steve, "what are the odds of that?"
To which he replied, "1 in 3."

And now that I have Digested my oatmeal, I shall go for a run.

The Vacuum-sealed Feeling

The inside of my car has a vacuum-sealed feel after I get home from driving the girls to school.  

I usually don't drive with music on, as I find that to be distracting, but the immediate silence that ensues once I pull into my driveway and shut off the engine is almost nirvana (yes, it does not take much)

Sitting in my parked car for a little period of time is both comforting and balancing (until the air gets stale).

.

The quiet pause gives me time to reflect on where or what I've been through--and it allows me to take a breath before I get on with my day (or as I said, before the air gets stale)

Despite the fact that my kids could catch the school bus that drives by our house every morning--I choose to drive them.

The brief drive allows us a moment of prayer and intention setting.

That conscious moment of zen in my driveway becomes an added benefit.

Be well.

How To Live A Better Story

"All great changes are preceded by chaos."

~Deepak Chopra

We did not just land in the middle of our story.

We authored it, and we continue to do so on a daily basis.

As authors, we can direct and edit our story.

My friend DZ gave me a book called A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller.

In this book, Miller compares writing a story to living a life.

How we live our life is us writing our story.

The basic structure of a good story is about a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.

People tend to root for such characters when it is established that the character has basic goodness in him/her.

Sometimes conflict is something born into, while other times the conflict is inflicted or is brought about by an inciting event.

I have gone through certain experiences in life that have left me feeling lost and unsure of my self at times.

It has led me to make bad decisions, go through depression and be unable to give my best self in my relationships.

It has led to a few inciting events in my life.

An inciting event causes you to be confused, angry and to feel stuck.
Some people go through just one event, while others go through a series of them. 
While it is happening it looks and feels over-the-top bad,

however interestingly enough, the sheer explosion of an inciting event forces our character to evolve or make changes. 

We can get unstuck by making a decisive choice to tell a better story.
While this sounds easier said than done when one is in the midst of absolute stuckness--
I am discovering that changes made in order to start living a better story,  don't necessarily have to be drastic.
First,
We can start by quitting something really simple.
We must stop retelling stories about experiences that did not bring us happiness.
(The story about the unbelievably rude salesperson,  the argument at the office, the friend that was inconsiderate, that fact that you were raised by a pack of wolves, etc.)
Then,
We can redirect the path of our life by making sure that that which brings us joy, takes nothing away from others.
(Examining even a good thing, like going for a run--if my choice to go for a run means I am never home for dinner with my family...that choice does not support me telling a better
story.)
Last,
Make a conscious effort to be grateful participants instead of unwilling victims of our life story.
Start your day appreciative of your chance to sleep. 
Say the words Good Morning- not only to yourself but to your family. 
Start your day with a smile and a prayer. 
(Something I work on daily as I prod my daughters to get up each morning, herding them to make their beds, pick up their clothes, remember everything they should have prepared before bed...etc)

I am finding out firsthand that we can start right where we are, right now, not by focusing on what brought us to where we are today but rather by practicing the following 10 tips as consistently as can be:

1. Be awed by life and take nothing for granted.

Train your thoughts and attention to things you appreciate. It does not have to be extraordinary.

A child's smile, hot steaming rice, a hug, the absence of a headache, a reliable car, a text, a cup of coffee, a herd of deer, sunshine, a comfortable bed, a green light, a piece of cake, a wifi connection, the sound of a good laugh, etc.

2. Be grateful.

Appreciate the good stuff but also learn to be grateful for the disappointments and the painful events because all of it, and I mean all-- are part of a much bigger picture. 

Set-backs and sorrow can become spring boards for change.

We can find something to appreciate in difficult situations if we look hard enough.

3. Forgive yourself and others.

Stop blaming your upbringing or your genetics or a past event.

Stop carrying a grudge or holding on to hatred.

Stop replaying negative experiences-- leave them in the past where they belong.

4. Be done with unhealthy habits.

Stop trying to please everyone and stop trying to control everything.

Stop dreading things and worrying about what has not happened yet, but when

unpleasant situations happen in the present--do not deny that they are in fact, unpleasant.

(Not facing it causes deeper problems in the future)

5. Stay on healthy airwaves.

We constantly broadcast and receive signals and vibrations from one another so choose what you send out and what you accept. 
What you think, ends up being what you feel.
Thoughts are our prayers, so think only of what you want.  
Surround yourself with whom and what you want to be.

My niece Erica shared a book with me called  The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

It is a pretty concise and no nonsense approach to life. 

Practicing the following four agreements guide me as I strive to tell a better story:

6. Be impeccable with your words. 

Say only what you mean with truth and love.

7. Don’t take anything personally.

What others say and do is a reflection of what they feel about themselves.

When you stop taking things personally, you eliminate your suffering.

8. Don't make assumptions.

If you are unsure, ask for clarification. 

Assuming the worst leads to drama and misunderstanding. 

Learn to take things at face value because sometimes believing the best in people, bring out the best in people.

9. Always do your best

When we know that we have done our best, we eliminate regrets.
Regrets are insidious.

The last tip that has been helping me navigate through life is this:

10. Have Faith and Surrender the outcome. 

Trust that if you do your best to lead an authentic (and God-centered) life, that one day, all the pieces will fall into place.  

You will get exactly what you need at the exact time that you need it.

Decide on the story you want to tell and live each day in support of it.

Living a better story will make you a happier person and ultimately add more joy  to those you love and to the rest of the world.