Random

Steve asked me, "are you okay?"

I asked him, "why?"

He said, "I called.  They told me where you rushed off to and when I came home, I saw the evidence all over the bathroom floor."

I have never been comfortable speaking in public.

My voice tends to quiver and my brain does unscheduled outages. 

Unbeknownst to me, my new-ish job demands that I  not only design a training program, 

but beg people to come to the event that I have to facilitate.  

(talk about bending over--)

Days leading up to the seminar I suffered insomnia, 

acne and had itchy skin in my neck, arms and everywhere.

And as if that was not enough, 

in what might have been the last act of a desperate woman--

I took a sharp pair of scissors and started cutting...

my  own hair.

When Steve called, I was at an emergency run to a beauty salon getting my handy work fixed.

The training seminar turned out as best as it could considering these random facts:

• Even if I've taught children for over 20 years (At a pre-school, a refugee camp and an after-school program) I've never had to do public speaking in front of adults. Ever.
• This was my very first time to facilitate a training seminar.
  
• I can juggle.  Luckily I did not have to resort to my juggling talent to keep the participants attention.
  
• I have an unusual gift of being able to write sentences backwards, in reverse-mirror image letters.  I did not use said gift while capturing participants ideas on the flip chart. 
•  Although I can triple fold my tongue, I only tongue-twisted on one word: colleague. I actually had to give up and rely on audience participation to say the word properly.
• My eardrums malfunction immediately after intense emotions.  I literally experience deafness after certain (*wink*)activities.  Now I can include facilitation as a trigger as well--as I was rendered deaf for about 45 minutes after the seminar.
  
• My voice quivers when I am nervous. While this might be helpful when one wants to do vibrato while auditioning for a musical it is more of a nuisance when you are facilitating.
  
• Steve is still married to me despite the fact that I continually spoke to him and the children through clenched teeth while preparing for this event.
• This entire experience taught me one thing about effective facilitation.  I learned that:  "Its not about Me."
• I find that this idea works with life as well.  The less we allow our 'bad hair days' to set the tone of our day, the more fulfilling life can be.  After all, it's only hair.

Like You Were Walking Onto a Yacht

The old adage "don't judge a book by its cover..." is easier said than done when you don't come with a tattered book jacket.
For the first time in my life I am experiencing seasonal allergies.
It has gotten so bad that it is making me a recluse.
Here is one eye at its worst:


I was so bummed by my appearance the other day that I declined two parties.
One party held the prospect of delicious Filipino food while the other one was a highschool graduation party of one of my old students from 10 years ago.
How self absorbed must I be to think that people cared if my eyes look bad?
So I showed up at the graduation party.

Charlie Mietzner , Jennifer Borsani, Me and Danny Borsani

But because I cared about how I looked, I never did remove my sunglasses.

Tagged by Girlie to reveal my beauty secrets, here it is:

1. Preparation-H hemorrhoidal ointment-I dab under my eyes to reduce the swelling.
2. Kiels's diaper rash cream-I apply liberally to alleviate the itching at night.
(you know you've come full circle when products for one's rear are now used on the face)
3. Olopatadine hydrochloride opthalmic solution-
I use Patanol to manage the allergy.
4. Benadryl based products- to sleep away my sorrows.
5. Hydrocortisone Creme- alleviates the itching during the day.
6. Teeth whitening gel- so people will focus on my mouth instead of on my eyes.
7. Very Large sunglasses- self explanatory

This allergy has made me ponder vanity and why we feel good about ourselves only when our "outer covering" is good.
If truly what is inside is more important then why does it seem like "packaging" is valued more by society?

A Random Story

One morning I was scouring the classifieds unsuccessfully for a job when something else caught my eye:

Jesus Christ Superstar Auditions.
Prepare a song, preferably from the musical.
Bring sheet Music.
I thought "perfect!"
I turned to my husband-of-four-months and asked:
"Can you drive me to this audition?"
(At the ripe old age of 27, I had yet to learn how to drive a car)
He replied rather incredulously,
"Sure--but have you done this before???"

I had always wanted to be on stage.
I never auditioned because I feared that someone I knew would scoff at my temerity.
Although I can carry a tune, I don't sing very well. (and I am not being modest either)
And I had never acted either--but that was beside the point.

I said,
"No, but since I am new to this city and nobody knows me..."
He said,
"yeah I'll drive you...but if you think that I am watching this audition, you are wrong--I am going to wait outside"
And I said, "If you think for a second that I would even consider letting you watch me you are wrong...you are absolutely waiting outside!"

On the day of the auditions Steve drove me and stayed outside as promised.
My heart was beating a thousand beats per minute in my ears.
As each actor stepped up they handed the pianist their sheet music and told them what key they were singing in.
I had no sheet music.
Since I did not know how to read music anyway there would have been no point.
I felt ill.
When my name was called I walked up to the pianist
(just to look normal).
My knees where shaking so hard as I wailed in my best
Yvonne Elliman.
Then after having to do a few improvisational exercises
(while truly wishing I could be swallowed up by my puet), I was done.
Outside the theatre I jumped into our car and as if fleeing the scene of a crime I barked out,
"Just Drive!"
However a few seconds later I said, "Pull Over!"
As I opened the car door to vomit, Steve said,
"Well, I'd say we should definitely do this more often."


Opening Night Note: 4/1994

__________________________________

Thank you Clayton Lowe, Beaman, Wanderlustscarlett and AnitoKid .
Your tags took me back to this interesting time of my life.
With this story I was able to share the following
8 Random Facts about me:

1. I vomit when I am nervous.
2. I can't read notes and yet I can play the piano.
3. I can carry a tune.
4. I moved to the US when I was 27.
5. I learned how to drive when I was 28.
6. I was in Jesus Christ Superstar.
7. Steve is very supportive of me.
8. Despite how much fun I had, that is the first and last play I ever did.


This was the best group of actors and actresses to work with.
Gary Baczewski moved on and was in "The Break up"-- the Jennifer Anniston Movie.
Brett Kitko is a director and actor in a group called Dionysian Actors in North Carolina.
Megan Hilty moved on to Broadway.
Marc Hewlett owns a bar in Ohio.

Jody Kozenko may have hung up the costume in favor of her life as an Optometrist Ophthalmologist in Richmond Virginia.
Leah Akins I have yet to find. She was extremely talented, focused and driven towards theater.
Then that's me in the superstar costume.
Jennifer Higgins, who is an architect, moved to Philly and married an Episcopalian Minister. They have three children.

L->R: Matt Stocke, Marla Degenhardt, Anthony Marino and Me.

Anthony Marino moved to a Brooklyn based performing group.
Matt Stocke definitely moved on to bigger and better things.
Although he is now sans hair, he is still a very talented guy.
I was watching the Tony Awards one night on television when this guy Matt jumped up on the stage promoting the Full Monty on Broadway!
For a guy who once told Steve that he had to choose between being a pro baseball player and the theatre, I'd say he chose wisely.

Asked and Answered

I interviewed Jmom, a wife to an artist and mother to three beautiful girls from North Carolina.
Her interview here.

I interviewed Rob Kistner a 60 yr. old writer, artist, musician from Oregon.
His interview here.

I interviewed WanderlustScarlett a writer from Denver, Colorado.
Her interview here.

My interview with Lara Croft a 45 yr. old educator from Houston, Texas.
Her interview here.

As I read all their responses to my questions I suddenly realized that the questions I asked of them were actually questions I needed answers to for myself.
It is interesting when that happens.

(I am still waiting for one last interview from Karen. (Its in your comments section--kar))

Interview with the Exskindiver

Thank You Annamanila for interviewing me.

1. Where do YOU stand in the reunification of the unmated sock?
I used have drawers full of unmatched socks (in the hopes that they will somehow be reunited--hopeless romantic, I know) until I stumbled upon tip # 6 for living well:purge all that is unnecessary in your life, get organized etc. These days I save unmated socks until I use it for mopping up dog urine and other spills. If the mate finds it partner before my dog has another accident, then its a happy ending.

2. How do you reconcile the sublimity of most of your blogposts with your PPP entries?

Unlike smarter bloggers out there who actually get paid to blog with PPP (pay per post)
--I am not selling anything. On the contrary, with my blog --I am buying.

With my blog I buy time for me.

By nature I am a social being and blogging allows me to connect.
I learn as I blog--about myself, others and the world.
I blog because I want to remember.
I blog because I have a story to tell.

not to mention, this paperweight

I got as a prize from Bobbarama is not a bad perk either.
Bob is a very entertaining writer/blogger from California.
He picked my commentsurate* word for his fictionary contest.
(*a comment on a blog that is as long --or longer than the blog post itself.)

3.Are there other life adventures you'd have wanted to engage in but haven't yet? What's keeping you?

See Africa, Australia and the rest of the world. Although I do not consider my children to be "keeping me from doing it" it is their ages that I consider. I would like to travel with them.
But I want them to be older.
I want them to long for it and I do not want them to take travel for granted.
This is because I believe that if you get something you've waited for--you taste it better.
Like I said before when I wrote about my cushionless bed--
Life is better when you allow life's treats to unfold slowly.

4. Has that "you're beautiful inside" quip of your daughter liberated you in a lasting way?

As a 40 yr old still constantly trying to fight pimples, wrinkles and a sagging set of...
uhm...no.


5. "Hitler went to heaven simply because there's no other place to go."
Your take please.
For the record, he is a great writer but I am not a Neale Donald Walsch disciple.
My take?
Judge not and be not judged.
________________________________________
Do YOU want to be interviewed?

Interview rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Chain Letter

Dear Kailani,
Thank you for sending me this chain letter.
You asked me what songs I knew the words to and instead of telling you, I decided to show you.

Check out these performances by: Jose Rizal, Gigi , Jude,and Second Born
I wonder what songs
Mayden, and HipcoolMomma know by heart.

PS. Kailani, here is the rest of the meme:

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

Mom of 2 and Wife of 1
BlondeMomBlog
Holly’s Corner
An Island Life
Skindiving

What were you doing 10 years ago?

* I had about 60 children--that I considered my own when I still worked at a school. (I am still in contact with some of them.)

What were you doing 1 year ago?

* Full swing into wamming.

Five Snacks You Enjoy

* Chocolate
* Popcorn
* Pork Rinds (chicharon)
* Watermelon
* Cucumbers

Five Songs That You Know All The Lyrics To

* You got me all over him by the Jets
* Dancing Queen by Abba
* I've Never Been to Me by Charlene
* Last Dance by Donna Summer
* Heto Na Naman by Gary V.

Five Things You Would Do If You Were a Millionaire

* Help
* Help some more
* Get a cleaning service
* Get a massage everyday
* Hire a personal chauffeur

Five Bad Habits

* Procrastination
(I'll get back to you on the other four)

Five Things You Like To Do

* Be a mother
* Write
* Paint
* Eat
* Sleep

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again

* Leggings
* Shoulder Pads
* Super long nails
* Very Short Hair
* A Wedding Gown

Five Favorite Toys

*A car to take me places
*A computer for "research"
*A phone to keep connected
*A camera to document memories
*A comfortable bed to recharge myself.

Now it’s your turn!

Four Memes to End Procrastination

To get to the meat of the matter of a blog author,
a meme is an excellent tool.
However, it can be a task to accomplish.
Had I known that the deeper meaning behind procrastinate was so dire I would have fought my inner serial procrastinator a long time ago.
Another meme here.

A month ago I was nominated for a Thinking blogger Award by Butrfly Garden.
In keeping with this meme, here are five other blogs that have made me think. Always one to alter things, I decided to pick posts that have made me think:

*This post that my sister Karen wrote, made me weep as I read how a painful loss was finally explained away by a beautiful miracle. It is a must read.
*Photowanderer (my SIL) made me think of the environment. Her post motivated me to recycle.
* Just the other day, this post by Liza's eye view--made me do a self evaluation.
*Makis made me nostalgic with her holiday memories and
*Francesca in france told me that there is no such thing as silly work, just silly people in her post dated April 15, 2007.

My response to Cherann's meme:
What blogs do I read but have not linked my blog due to plain old procrastination?

* Laura Zigman's blog. She is the author of the book: Animal Husbandry and Dating Big Bird. I love her witty writing style.
*Noemi's Touched by An Angel is about her “new normal” which she struggled to achieve after the sudden death of her 6 yr. old son . Still a work in progress, she is now in her renewal stage where her grief has moved on towards a positive resolution. As she shares her life on her blog, she offers hope.
*An Island Life by Kailani. She has interesting stories about life in Hawaii and her career as a flight attendant. She is also a mother to two sweet little girls.
*Something About Parenting by Mike. This blog written by a stay at home dad allows me into a peak into motherhood from a father's point of view. His creativity is a plus.
*Walk this way by Carlos Celdran. A very entertaining read, he is like a smorgasborg for stuff.
You never know what you are going to get with this guy--he has a link to morgue pictures.
Yes, you read right--morgue pictures. But you are not subjected to it, you have the option of clicking on it. (I will not tell you whether I clicked or not.)

And the answer to Ron's question as to what five goals I've never taken seriously:
* Make my bed everyday.
* Read 100 Years of Solitude
* Drink 8-10 glasses of water daily
* Be a sweet wife
* Avoid procrastination

Oh and so I don't completely kill these memes -- let me know if you do it so that I can link to it.

A Meme

Standard issue ear scoop

Definition of a meme

(Pronounced "meem") An idea, thought or piece of information that is passed from one generation to the next through imitation and behavioral replication. In his 1976 book "The Selfish Gene," Richard Dawkins said that memes and memetics are the cultural counterpart to the biological study of genes and genetics. Like evolution, Dawkins observed that human cultures evolve via "contagious" communications in a manner similar to the gene pool of populations over time.
In a blogger's world, a meme is an idea, question, or project that is posted in one blog and answered to in many other blogs. Memes are used to propagate ideas in the blogosphere and is especially handy when one has ran out of things to write about.
Personally, I thought that a meme was literally, a post about ME or in this case one's two ME's (as in split personalities).
I never claimed to be bright.

Anyhow, tagged with a ME meme over three weeks ago by Urbano de la Cruz,
I had difficulty complying since- as you may have noticed- my life is an open book (much to my beloved's discomfort).
But in the spirit of good blogging karma, here goes--

My response to 5 Things People Don't know About Me:

1. I mooned people on my wedding day (yes, with my wedding dress on and all)

I am not sure what came over me. I am sure that I was just trying to be funny.
The local paper writer and I surmise that on a subconscious level, the act of mooning signified the severing of apron strings.


2. I have my baby teeth saved in a curio box.

Come to think of it, was it Freud or Lacan who said that in the loss of a tooth, there is a confrontation—an encounter—with the reality of bodily fragmentation and, ultimately, with death itself. I have always been pretty morbid. What can I say.


3. I love to karaoke the song: 'I've never been to Me' by Charlene Duncan

"...oooh i've been to georgia and california and any place i could run, took the hand of a preacher man and we...made love in the sun..."
This was THE very first record I purchased in my life. On the pretext of buying it as a gift for TLPW, it was my favorite song in 1976.
In december 2005,
I lost in a sing-off against The Soft Spot Girl.
It was the last time I sang that song.

4. I get very cranky when I am hungry. If food is not available to me at the exact moment of hunger, I quickly lose my appetite (and then it gets really ugly).

5.I am fascinated with ear wax. I love cleaning my kids' ears, and Steve's too (when he lets me).
Varieties and quantities--and my unproven theory about their correlation to personalities, I find interesting.

Consider yourself tagged and as a meme goes tag away!