Twisting and Pondering Thomas Merton

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. "-Thomas Merton

ShivashaktiShape Challenge Collage (because I loved this Challenge) plus the backstory to two of these pictures ....

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Early this morning I received a text.

Friend: "Do you want to run with me?"

Me: "If I say yes, can we run to a church with a steeple so you can take my picture outside of it?"

Friend: "Okay. Will do."

Me: "It's a yoga pose. You won't be embarrassed?

Friend: "I figured."

It's low 30 degree type of winter weather. Windy and cloudy in Pittsburgh.

I put on four layers. Jogging pants, gloves and a hat.

We run.

We get to the spot.

As I start stripping off all my clothes she says:

"Now Chesca, today is the day I don't ever want to hear you complaining about the cold....and that as a Filipino you are not used to the harsh winters....blah blah blah. This is it. You taking off your clothes right now, out here ends all future complaining."

Me: "I promise."

I strip down to a layer of yoga shorts, a tank and I keep my striped socks on which trust me, I know I look ridiculous as I stood on Fifth Ave prepping for the shot

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She is very patient.

She takes a fabulous shot.

I get dressed again and then we keep running. -

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"The greatest love you can show is to give your life for your friends."-John 15:13

❤️

Or in this case to allow yourself to get embarrassed for the sake of your friend's IG yoga project.

Thank you DZ!

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"The ostriches' wings flap joyously With the pinion and plumage of love..."-Job 39:13

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"You are wearing that?" -- My husband Steve questioned AFTER he had already agreed to take my photo. 

I had asked him to photograph me at a location where I could "soar."

He inquired, "Why what's your theme?"

"FLIGHT," I answered. 

He said okay. "But I am only doing this because I love you." --

He does not really enjoy taking my yoga pictures and hates it even more when the poses are done in public. He abhors unnecessary attention and gets embarrassed easily.

When he saw me grab my plastic tutu and my roll of tape, he looked as if he was changing his mind.

So I offered to just pose in the privacy of our backyard.

But he took a deep breath and said, "No let's just do it."

And off we went.

Supported The High School Freshman's Spring Concert and Art Show. (✍✅)

Love this

Now that I am on the hook to pick up "Broken Foot" after school, I get to observe high school girls in their habitat. I saw these girls (not my daughters) sneaking behind bushes, spying on their friend (also not my daughter) having a conversation with a boy. It made me laugh. Some things in life don't change. And yet, they never quite stay the same.

Harvesting Greens

Captured by the Trail Cam (yes that is a gun slung over his shoulder ICoB. (In Case of Bear)

It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas.

20 Minutes

In an effort to stay productive, I've been testing out a new format in my mornings.
I set my phone timer for 20 minutes and break up my schedule into 20  minute increments.
Even my prayer time I have sliced into 3 blocks of 20:
Not necessarily in this order, I set
20 minutes to listen (meditation),
20 minutes to read (my Bible),
20 minutes to write my prayers down.
I started writing my prayers, because I discovered that I can stay better focused when I write them down instead of when I mutter or think them.

I've split my workouts into 20's as well.

(this pace kills me btw, as I am much more comfortable with a 13 min/mile)
20 minute cardio, 20 minute weights.
Laundry folding and sorting-I try to get it done in 20.
House cleaning, (I gladly stop after 20 minutes)
Emailing and Facebooking....20.
Needless to say, I find myself being more productive.

The other day, I was feeling so productive and UMOTY-ish (thanks SL)  that I even made homemade Broccoli and Cheddar soup for the first time in my life.

I was so proud of it that I kept milking my family for compliments.
Finally K mentioned that I am the complete opposite of Chinese ladies, that downplay the excellent meals they make by saying their dish may need more soy sauce....
What can I say, I ain't chinese.
But then again, I really believe that when one becomes inspired enough to create, (or in this case, cook) you feel like bursting...(or bragging).
Speaking of creating, (or bragging)  the extreme cold has given the girls a couple of school cancellations.
I was very proud to announce to my FB world that during the days off,
G took it upon herself to create something with a friend:

Creative juices overflowing...when she ran out of canvas...she turned her art on the dog:

Full Disclosure: If my kids had their way, (especially G, who seems addicted to Netflix) they would lie on our kitchen floor and watch TV all day...

And now my 20 minutes to write on this blog is up.

One Red Feather Christmas Tree, Four Bins and The Four Agreements

I am attempting to simplify my life, Christmas included.
So this year I put a fraction of my Christmas decorations out,  set some aside for our camp and I am giving the rest (of my secret addiction) away.
It is a process I do not take lightly, considering I may have been using Christmas decorations to self medicate. (more on that later)
Last weekend, I took some carefully selected decorations with me to the camp.
Before getting there, we stopped at my in-laws to say hello.
My MIL's home was decorated so-very-beautifully for Christmas.
Just lovely--as my MIL has really good taste.

Previously, she had asked me if I minded if she decorated a little bit for me at our hunting place.
I told her, "sure!"
I was confident that I would love whatever she did, plus, I was lazy to do it myself.
I was surprised  when I arrived at the property and was greeted by a rather u-g-l-y  red feather Christmas tree, and a few other items (not photographed) that I never knew she had.
(even Pax was assaulted)

Cautiously, I asked Steve if the tree and its companions had any sentimental value, or significance to his life.
He said he had never seen them before.
I did not like it.
Suddenly, a range of emotions came over me and
I went against "The Four Agreements."

So I took everything down and started redecorating with the things I brought with me.

Truly there is value in occupational therapy because four large empty bins later,
I felt my anti-agreement sentiments melting away.
I realized while decorating, that it was my ego that was choosing the negative thoughts that I had.
I am betting that there is a story behind some of those things she thought I would enjoy.
So I incorporated them back into my holiday display (for now).
I decided to see my MIL's bequeathing of a funky feather Christmas tree to me as a compliment.
She knows that she has an unconventional daughter-in-law that insists on choosing the crappiest Christmas trees:

and transforming them into beautiful backdrops to the story of Jesus' birth.

And so in honor of her honoring the quirky in me, I am keeping the vintage red feather table top christmas tree.

However, she does not know this  (and she does not read this blog) but some of the other stuff may have to go--
after all in the spirit of simplifying, sometimes less is more.
And, I don't need to self-medicate anymore  (for now).

Occupational Therapy II

I was asked to make nine souvenir posters for G's team for their 8th grade recognition night.  I made them last year for the 8th graders on G's team. I did not want to make them this year. But I was asked. As it turns out, it ended up being occupational therapy for me as I processed and prayed my way through a disturbing event that has hit my community. 

Tree Time 2013

I had been wanting a "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree" for years now.
This year, Steve brought this home for me.

Every evening, we gather around it and write down "what we pray for" and "what we are thankful for" on white and gold ribbons which we hang on our "charlie brown christmas tree."
It is a tradition we started in the beginning of december. (I say "we" but I am sure you can imagine the initial resistance)

When Kika asked me the night before her dance if some people could meet here, I said yes.
I was not prepared for the complete strangers that came along with the "some people" in order to take pictures of the large group of young men and women before the dance.

When I observed a few of the parents examining the tree closely, my armpits got a bit sweaty.

I had not anticipated that my quirky choice of tree  and intimate practice was going to be viewed by so many people.
People that came to retrieve children after Gabi's birthday two fridays ago and then people that came here before Kika's dance last friday.

The whole thing was an exercise in saying yes to the present moment and surrendering to what is.

Caught my eye on my way out the door this afternoon....

and I was awed by the combination of the flowers and the sunlight.

G Made This This Dress, Purse And Shoes Out Of Duct Tape And Wore It To Her School Dance

Last Night. (more later)

I painted this for an art auction.

This Just Might Be The Best Ten Minutes Of Your Day

(thanks paddy)

Sprinted up Negley to catch the 2:30 showing of Silver Linings Playbook. Now sweating profusely.

My favorite quotes from Silver Linings Playbook:

"There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fu**er? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?"
-Tiffany Maxwell

"Let me tell ya. You gotta pay attention to signs. When life reaches out with a moment like this it's a sin if you don't reach back...I'm telling you."
-Pat's dad.

"Pat, You have to have a strategy."
-Dr. Patel.

Great Movie.

The Weekend.

My Friday evening unexpectedly opened up when Steve took Kika out to buy a powerful
r-i-f-l-e.
She is now a fully licensed hunter.

Last minute plans for Gabi put her in a make-up gymnastics class--

So I went out and saw this opera by myself. (thanks CK)

It was very good.
I intend to go and see more productions by this theatre group.
The experience is very intense and edgy.
Their set up and style made me feel like I was a part of the performance.
It feels very satisfying to go and do something you want to do whether you have someone  to do it with or not.

There's something very freeing about it.

It's not like you should talk during the show anyway--so there's no need for company really, except maybe for debriefing purposes.

On Saturday though, I went with Kika and Gabi and two of their friends to see the movie, The Perks of Being A Wallflower.

This movie is now on my Top-10-Greatest-Movies-of-All-Time List.
Right up there with Crash, Slumdog Millionaire, Shawshank Redemption,  Silence of the Lambs, Life is Beautiful, Princess Bride, Saving Private Ryan, When Harry Met Sally, Hotel Rwanda---(The Crying Game has now been bumped off by Perks.)

However, debriefing with a 14 yr old, a 13 yr old, 12 yr old, and an  11 yr old is not quite as easy
when the movie touches on some delicate subject matters that I was completely blindsided by. (thanks again, CK)
Issues that I can (unfortunately) identify with.

Luckily on our way out of the movie theater, we bumped into my friends Suzanne and Greg who were on their way in.
With my eyes still wet and my cheeks still stained with tears--they agreed to drop by my house after they saw it so that we could discuss the highly sensitive material. 

Will not spoil your viewing pleasure by talking about it here.

Go. And. See. It.

A line from the movie that I emphasized to the kids during the drive home (after pulling over in order to threaten bodily harm on JB's 12 yr old son if he repeated a phrase in the film that included the term
"blow j**") was:

Even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there.

~Stephen Chbosky, Perks of Being A Wallflower

Then to seal the deal, the movie featured the song, Heroes by David Bowie.
That song is near and dear to my heart and an all time favorite.

On Sunday,  I had a bit of the Post-Perks-Blues.
But home-made tacos (with slices of avocado and sour cream) cleared that right up.
And so did church.
After church the girls were happy to go to a pool party (a really cool one with super high diving platforms to jump off from).
So Steve and I went to go see the movie, Argo.
I was so gripped during the entire movie even if I knew the ending. (!!!)
I can't explain that.
But it so inspiring to learn about people who make sacrifices in their lives for the sake of others.
People that make a difference.
To make choices and decisions purely for the good of others.
That's heroic.
It reinforces what I believe and Bowie sings,
That we can be heroes.

"La Vie En Rose" or "I Don't Like Mondays"

I want to be able to play both songs on the piano.
There are Youtube tutorials that I've found but have not been able to follow.
I may also have Kika and Gabi learn it so that they can teach me.

It's Friday.
I did another over-an-hour-long run this morning.
I think I am officially addicted to running.
I shall no longer put quotation marks on my "runner" status.

Oooops. I did it again.
I just can't believe that I have become a runner.
The-even-in-cold-weather type runner.

Funny how sometimes things you can not ever imagine yourself capable of doing- you find yourself being able to do.

Such as: (in no particular order of importance)

-Sticking my bare hand in the unreachable underlip of our toilets to scrub it well.
-Cook (not after scrubbing the toilet)
-Letting my kids sleep over at a friend's house.
-Giving my kid a cell phone.
-Driving long distances.
-Making my bed every single day.
-Surviving.
-Booking back-to-back activities in advance and not dreading it.
-Thinking before speaking.
-Being a good mother.

Speaking of being a good mother, I finished making Kika's Glinda crown for her Halloween School Dance costume.
Here is a picture of her wearing it:

I shall await your ooooohs and
aaaaaahs.
Yes I am bragging.

I know I am bragging when the thing I am showing off is something I knew full well I could do.
Eventually the running activity I post might degenerate to bragging but-we are not quite there yet.

If I succeed in playing those songs on the piano I shall "share" that too.

Again as I've previously discussed in a post a few months ago--
if it inspires you: then you caught the I'm-just-so-proud-of-myself tone of my message.
If it annoys you: then perhaps you've picked out the element of me that may have been showing off.

The ability to perceive things in a positive light is completely one's choice.

Today's Lunch

Mixed greens, Arugula a must!
One hard boiled egg.

Sweet onions

Tomatoes

One small avocado

Wanton strips

A few squeezes of fresh lemon juice mixed with a teaspoon of soy sauce as dressing.

Fresh ground pepper.

Without a Shadow of a Doubt