The Circle of Life

We almost did not have children.
Not by choice, but because I could not get pregnant.
We went to fertility clinics.
Did Ovulation kits, thermometer readings, clomid, sperm counts, post coital headstands, boxer briefs, perfectly synchronized 'O's , etc.
I had a hysterosalpingogram done
which was more than uncomfortable, btw
--it caused me to have a vasovagal episode in the lobby of the hospital
--which lead Steve (who embarasses easily) to tell me:
"go pass out in the ladies room"("!??#%?", said I)
But I digress.
When Elaine Henson died in December 1997, I had gone to Manila for her funeral.
My barren state widely publicized, the old ladies at the wake declared with full certainty:
"now that Elaine is gone, you will get pregnant"
-spawned out of Philippine belief that when one life passes, another is to replace it--
Throughout this constant soothsaying my thought balloon was:
How the he** does my best friend's death have anything to do with my infertility??
(of course I did not say that, it being a funeral and all)
When I got back here,
Steve condoled by surprising me with a male brindle boxer pup.
(my favorite pet reincarnated )
Immersing myself in the care of the puppy, I remained childless.
Soon after, I am not sure what had even prompted me to do it
(dog pee, perhaps?)--I was drawn to a home pregnancy test
I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw that the test was positive.
After five years of waiting, I was finally pregnant.
The pregnancy test date?
February 23, 1998. Elaine's Birthday.


  1. Maganda ang blog mo, im glad you came around to mine, so i can have you as my daily visits too. congrats sa paging mother mo, patience lang kapalit lang lahat, then you will have it...

  2. Wow, the pregnancy test date is wild. I totally believe people can remain connected after death. My best friend since childhood was murdered by her ex-husband in 1998 and I swear, I still feel her prescence in my life today.

    Thank you for sharing the info and links, I find all of that very interesting. Have a beautiful day my friend.

  3. I read this yesterday...and had to log off before I could comment-
    but I loved this story!

    It gave me a tingle...and a smile. I have no idea how we are all connected, and why things happen as they do- but I admire someone who "sees" how we all fit together...how one life affects another. How the past touches the present and the future.
    Mmmm- makes me feel warm all over :)

    I read your note at MV...by all means...tell me a story! :) I'd love that~

  4. OK, wow. I was not expecting that last line. I have to agree with mayden ... made me feel warm all over. Totally made my night.

  5. Damn. Chills. Thank you and blessings on you and your family.

  6. Anonymous9:15 PM

    oh my god, kinilabutan ako dito, pero a nice, heartwarming kind of kilabot.

    i admire (alright, fine, envy!) your relationship with elaine. ive been reading your links and i realized im not sure with whom among my many, many friends do i have a bond similar to that. i mean, i thought at one point there was this one, tapos after many years hindi pala. would you believe i'm still heartbroken over that, though i wouldnt come out openly to say it. i made an entry about this last year.

    still trying to figure out if two of my friends fit the bill. i console myself with the fact that my husband and i are best friends, but a best girl friend is just well, different.

    oooh. what a revelation. too dyahi to let people know it's me, too important to delete it. i'll just sign LC, hope you know i am :)


thanks for commenting!