In this tight rope walk of parenting--I looked down instead of straight ahead and lost my balance.
(And my cool)
We had allowed K to watch a concert with her friends at the university right by our house.
(In retrospect, letting her see a rapper was probably not the best decision, but that's another story)
Right before releasing her into the wild I got distracted by a t-shirt that K was wearing because it was:
a) unfamiliar to me
b) barely skimming the top of her yoga pants.
It was one good posture away from being a belly shirt.
In my distress, I spoke to her through clenched teeth about this shirt that was borrowed from a friend.
I said that if I wanted her midriff exposed I would have purchased a cropped shirt for her myself.
And then I threatened to impound her for life if she lowered her high waisted yoga pants during the concert.
It was not pretty- my lack of trust.
Not the lack of trust in my 15 year old but in my faltering confidence in God.
In that instant, I became so unsure of everything.
I spent the evening lashing out at anything in my orbit while waiting for her safe return.
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Most parenting manuals reassure readers that children that display differing styles from that of their parents'
(my brain translates styles as values)
is a healthy sign that a child is "hatching."
According to Townsend and Cloud in their book Boundaries,
children that remain unhatched, become "compliant parrots" that end up suffering later in life, when they become adults.
But here's my question:
Where do we draw the line between
"Healthy hatching" and becoming a "Rotten egg?"
I guess that's where my faith MUST step in.
("To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we can not see."
Hebrews 11:1)
After I give my children clear and precise guidance--I must have faith that all will be well.
If I am going to keep my freak-outs to a minimum, I must stay calm, faithful and focused as I walk across the tight rope in this parenting segment of my journey.
Perhaps a sense of humor wouldn't hurt either--as our other daughter G defended her sister by saying:
"today's exposed midriff is just like an exposed ankle during your time."
Despite understanding how teens think, I will not waver if I am sure of what I want for them.
I will not look down.
I will keep moving forward.