Field Work

I've been doing a lot of studying lately. Actually more like cramming.
It's a research study on love, peace and how to be in this constant state of love and peace.
I am not speaking of romantic love either-- do not get me wrong. I am talking about just everyday love. Love as a guiding force behind very basic actions like having a routine conversation with your family, parenting your children, bill paying, interacting, driving, putting gas in a car (this reminds me, I need to put gas in our car before my long drive today)
I am here visiting my mom and I am reading a book called
'A Return To Love' by Marianne Williamson that I can not put down.
(thanks ck)
This book is an experience.
As I read it, I feel a sense of euphoria about reading what seems to be a well written thesis on the topic of life.
I feel excited...like I am about to grasp something.
I am still processing it. I decided to write about it right now even if I am about to drive almost 5 hours today because writing helps me understand.
Plus it will give me a chance to ponder processed thoughts while driving.
I've always thought that the opposite of love was not hate but indifference.
It is not.
This book, has opened up my mind to the idea that
The opposing energy of love is fear.
I realize that every unloving act or thought I have had in the past has been rooted in fear.
Fear is often disguised as anger, pain, depression, greed, jealousy, loneliness etc.
Basically all negative thoughts or actions can be traced to fear.
What I am learning so far from this book:

-The ability to shift perception from negative to positive is a miracle.

-Hitting rock bottom is actually a gift. Desperation makes one turn to God.

-Despite the common phrase: "nobody is perfect"--everyone is in fact perfect.
The appearance of imperfection is merely due to fear.

-inauthentic parts of us shed when we focus on following the will of God
The will of God can discerned when we take time to listen.

-We are all connected. Any time a disconnection happens it is due to ego and the inability to love unconditionally. Love never dies.
(you don't need to physically see someone, in order to still love. I know this firsthand based on my love for my dad even if he died three years ago)

-page 38-39 explains how:
The Holy Spirit is God's answer to the ego and that in fact any situation that pushes our buttons is a situation where we don't have the capacity to be unconditionally loving.

-Only our ego can push our buttons

-love is not love unless it is unconditional.

More later.


The current time is 2 PM and I have not showered nor brushed my teeth yet.
I have to stop writing right now because in honor of my dad who loved garage sales, I made a date to go to a super sale at a nearby church with my mother, my sister Charissa, my two girls and my niece Jules.
And then we will stop by my father's grave. After dinner, the girls and I will drive the 300 miles home, and will hopefully be home by midnight.

But not before I put gas in my car lovingly.