Old Farmer's Advice (thanks Stephanie)

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * 

*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.* 

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.*

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.* 

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.* 

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.* 

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.*

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.* 

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.* 

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.* 

* Every path has a few puddles.* 

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.*

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.*

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.* 

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.* 

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.*

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.*

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.* 

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.* 

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'..* 

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.* 

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.* 

* Always drink upstream from the herd.* 

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.* 

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.* 

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.* 

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.*
*Speak kindly.*

 Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you..