I already know how I am going to end this post.
I will conquer the undesirable.
I am going to do it.
I will have fun.
I will pat myself on the back in a congratulatory way.
My mother is deathly afraid of dogs but I did not know it. We always had dogs.
And now as a grown woman, I have an insane love for my dog Pax.
Kika, Gabi and I raced against a snow storm.
The ominous weather advisory computer generated voice Interrupting the tween music blaring on the radio every so often was not too comforting.
(both the music and the warnings)
I drove fast and won.
That victory should have been able to tuck me in bed and allow restful sleep but it did not.
I kept creeping out of bed to look out the window.
I swear I could HEAR the snow falling at 3 AM.
5 AM and it sounds like the snow has a sound track.
It's 7 AM and a blanket of snow has covered the ground.
I am tired from lack of sleep.
It's still snowing and it is extremely COLD out there.
I am dreading today.
The girls and I are not home.
Our victorious race was not to my warm bed but to meet Carole King (not the singer) and her family.
We are a couple of hours from home at a ski resort.
I was informed by Carole that the steady hum of snow falling that kept me up all night was the sound of snow making machines.
The resort was manufacturing more snow just to be sure that people had enough snow to cushion their fall.
We are going to ski.
Everyone in this house is excited.
Everyone but me.
I don't think I want to ski.
I especially do not want to ski in the middle of a snow storm.
But the pictures we will take today won't show that.
I will put on waterproof mascara and mug for the camera.
I will smile and woohoo it.
I will be enthusiastic.
Like my mother faking being a dog lover, which made me a dog lover---
I want my children to inherit a zest for living.
This is why I do it.