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1.03.2007

Fourtship


For some shy children (like K and G), it is difficult to negotiate the social maze that comes with school.
In their quests for friendships, they often ask me how to make friends.
I offer few tips and try to facilitate with playdates when able.
But, I tell them that friendships need work.
Unfortunately, it does not stop at childhood.
In fact, it gets even harder as one reaches adulthood.

In my opinion, finding a friend as an adult, is much like finding a life partner.
When adults meet, there is fertile ground for a friendship to grow when there are shared experiences, common ground, and room to grow.
But how do you get the friendship seed planted?
Barring a cyclopsian countenance, it is a lot easier to meet people when you are in school, have a job outside of the home, or are active in the community.
But, having quit my job over a year ago, no furthering of studies in the offing, dismal church attendance and the propensity for hibernation--I realized I was in a wammer's pickle.

Solution: Fourtship.
Playdates, dining together, movies, phone conversations are all part of the friend courtship.
And once the acquaintanship has been established into a certain level of "friendship"
--I test the friendship's strength by introduction to my socially inept spouse.
I figure that if they can get past the fact that Steve is special, then the friendship is a keeper.

So, because K was in pre-school with her son, N
...my friendship with Becky got its start.
Becky has seen me through my rocky relationship
with Chuck E. Cheese.
She has rescued me from my children and brought them to places that I wouldn't
(The Zoo, Museums and the Science Center).
She has weathered my wishy-washiness...and
together with her husband Kelley, dragged me to amusement parks, carnivals and parks until I got the hang of getting past my own inertia to live life with my children.
Together, we've survived weekends away
(another litmus test of friendship), the stench/drool of my dog and MSG.

Making friends as adults is not simple.
But, if you put time and energy into it, you stumble upon an occasional gem.
I have.
Happy Birthday, Becky.

1 comment:

  1. Becky9:01 AM

    Darling Chesca, you are an amazing friend! We who are called your friends have been blessed in many ways! Love you and learning to love Steve :o) Thank you for all you do!

    ReplyDelete

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