We are in between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I am procrastinating decorating for the Holidays. What do I do, I decided to write.
It's a peeve. Small but persistent. And I'm betting once you notice it, you will agree.
The phrase is "love on them."
I hate it.
Not dislike. Hate. Hate like the way I hate socks worn with sport sandals. Or the way some people speak like they are asking a question or even worse, they do it with a vocal fry. But I digress.
When did love need a preposition?
At some point maybe in the last 10 years, some people decided that love couldn't stand alone. We used to just love people. Now we love ON them, which sounds less like affection and more like a performance. Ugh.
When did this start?
My best guess: the internet. Mommy blogs, Instagram captions written in brand approved fonts.
"We can't wait to love on this sweet community!"
"Just loving on my people today!"
It's everywhere. Like beige and white aesthetics. Like "holding space." Like candles that smell like a feeling. It makes my toes curl.
"Love on" makes me feel like it's a one way act and the other person is being held hostage to it. It feels unwanted or uninvited.
Also it feels linguistically unnecessary. Love does not need scaffolding. You love someone. You show love. You care for them. Adding "on" makes it sound like something is being done to a person instead of with them.
And worst of all removes our agency.
I do not wish to be loved on.
I will accept love.
I will hug.
But please keep the "on" to yourself.
So what to say instead?
If the goal is kindness (and I believe it is), here are perfectly good human phrases:
- Care for them
- Support them
- Be kind to them
- Spend time with them
- Show them love
- Help them
Look at that. Normal. Clean. No Assault.
To end this rant:
Language evolves. I get it. Not every phrase is for everyone.
But "love on them" gives me the yuckus de muckus.
You don't need to love on me. Just love me.
And don't get me started on how "going to The Prom" has become "going to Prom…" in my opinion that needs its preposition back.