Yesterday, I Wanted To Jump Out Of My Skin

I was experiencing vague anxiety.
So I meditated not just once, but twice.
Then, I worked out on the treadmill, twice.
And after a brief hiatus from good hygiene, I also showered--twice.

Steve also took a turn on the treadmill for the first time since its repair.
He reported that after soldiering through, he smelled something burning.
This morning I called the repair people:

Service person: "I see your treadmill was just serviced a few weeks ago, are you having another issue with it ?"
Me: "I've used it a couple of times since its repair, and it has worked fine but last night, after my husband used it, it started to smell bad."
Service person: ___ (dead silence)
Me: "like something was burning."
Service person: "Oh the treadmill!"

I've been praying for my friend's niece who is dying of cancer.
As of this week, she has been given one month to live.
Just typing that is making me weak.
And I don't even know her personally.

Celebrating the birth of Christ should be a peaceful time of the year.
We are commemorating the arrival of a little baby born for the sole purpose of saving the world, and yet for many it becomes a time of stress due to the busyness and commerce that have become associated with the holiday.
I can imagine that the panic the little girl's family is going through is completely unrelated to the material aspect of the season.

While I was on the phone with the treadmill service department, we were picking a date for the technician to come out.
As I looked at my calendar, I suddenly realized that exactly 17 years ago today, I lost my best friend.
I remember sitting in her hospital room with a box Christmas cards, thinking that I was going to write on them while she recuperated.
Both did not happen.
For a long time I associated Christmas with the death of Elaine.
Although this is no longer the case, I think on a subconscious level--I still get affected this time of the year.
Maybe that's why I wanted to jump out of my skin yesterday and
for sure that is why I am praying that the little girl and her family enjoy a beautiful Christmas together this year.

While I understand that the Target-frenzied world rarely ponder the significance of Jesus' birth--I am hoping that we are all able to reflect on the importance of time we can gift each other this holiday season.
Jesus had 33 years on earth.
Elaine had 29.
I am praying that my friend's niece gets more than 18 months.