I just finished reading a book that I borrowed from DZ called, Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller.
The cover states that it is a book about nonreligious thoughts about Christian spirituality.
I liked it.
I liked how reading it felt like I was having an interesting conversation with an unfamiliar visitor.
I realize I enjoyed this particular visit because I did not have to change out of my sleeping clothes.
I could tune in and tune out of the conversation without appearing rude and most of all, I did not have to put on my "open face" (the face I wear when I interact with people).
I cracked up today when I read the author describe himself as a cordless screwdriver that needed many hours of charging for just a little bit of use.
Just yesterday I had answered my friend JB's text with a quick: I am recharging.
And today, when my other angel SL would not stop texting me until I responded with a grunt (her words)
I texted her the cordless screwdriver line that I had just read. (I did not credit it to Miller though)
I AM recharging.
Despite the very minimal traveling and holiday socializing we did (mostly dabbled really)
I was SPENT.
Don't get me wrong, I was happy to celebrate the holidays.
I was glad that I did not really have to put on my "open face" unwillingly.
The holidays just emptied me out.
And the routine necessary for me to be upright was not too easy to keep.
But I am getting back on track, starting with a workout tomorrow with CK.
Speaking of visitors filed under the "I needed my 'open face' for"---
The other day, Fr. James B. Reuter, the priest that officiated in the weddings of my parents, two of my sisters and one brother--I think he also baptized all of us--died.
He was 96 years old.
When the Silvas were still all together, we would have these once-a-year dinners with him.
It was the only time that we ever sat at our formal dining table since we normally gathered in the kitchen.
My only memories of this beautiful table were of the dinners with Fr. Reuter and of my evenings spent sitting at it, struggling with math homework.
Coincidentally, a day before Fr. Reuter died, this very table that reminded me of him was sold.
It was sold because the house I grew up in is also in the process of being sold.
It is a challenging time and process and it marks yet another chapter of the Silva family's life that is either closing, opening or both.
(methinks this may be contributing to my feelings of depletion)
Anyhow, as I trolled the internet reading up on the various thoughts and memories people had posted about Fr. Reuter's life and death-
I stumbled upon a completely unrelated young Jesuit priest's essay about life and our purpose.
A line struck me. Got me out bed actually.
God entrusts us with the lives of others even when many times we cannot even manage our own.
-Francisco Alvarez, SJ
How powerful and what a reminder for me to just keep on trucking.
I am going through something right now but it is nothing that I can't handle with faith.
(not the country singer).
And I have tools!
After I post this, I shall prepare a large, hot steaming bowl of wanton shrimp noodle soup.
One must be properly nourished to live a purposeful life after all.
And then I shall bathe my dog.
Happy New Year.