I know I have been thinking of my niece Aneka and her newborn baby that is still in the N-ICU.
Instead of allowing myself to get worked up about it, I put on my headphones and trolled YouTube to listen to music.
I enjoyed a few songs by the Lumineers and Imagine Dragons.
I don't think that helped because one of the songs had a mandolin part that made me want to get up and start playing the mandolin at 2 AM.
Since that would not have been favorable sleeping conditions for my family, I resisted that urge.
I'm nice like that.
I've been trying to downsize and discard unnecessary things around our house.
A serious Purge.
I like to use Freecycle --but that process takes a bit longer and allows me to see my stuff longer than necessary. This makes my task more challenging since my inner hoarder fights this ability to give things away. So it helps if I get it out of my house AS SOON AS a giveaway box is full.
Yesterday I made not one, but two trips to Goodwill.
This is my fourth trip there in a week and yet I am not seeing any visible improvement but since I am learning that:
Only infinite patience produces immediate results--
I plan to keep at it.
I've been really busy lately.
The girls are back in school.
Their after school activities have been quite hectic for their white-knuckling driver.
So even if Steve suggested that I go to Manila to be with my sister and her family during this important time of their life--I knew that I was needed more here by my own family.
I am really really doing my very best to just take things as they come and trust that all will work out.
I know this.
The other day, I had to deal with the uncomfortable situation of telling the girls' piano teacher that we were no longer going to use her service.
I fiddled with how to do it, toying with the idea of doing it in a letter or a text message.
But in an effort to live authentically, I called her.
The universe was on my side as she did not pick up. I was able to leave her a voice mail.
A long one.
She responded very graciously with another voice mail (yes I did not pick up).
All is well.
I'm trying to be more open to life and to view things more positively.
This policy has somehow landed me the position of assistant coach for Gabi's JV volleyball team.
You know the downside of being the assistant coach?
When the head coach is not available for the very first Away-game tomorrow evening,
I suddenly get promoted to head coach.
I am not going to let the fact that I do not know how to coach volleyball get in my way.
Everything is going to be okay.
I'm still on my semi-new quest of mindfully saying yes to life.
I'm still on my path of redirecting a negative idea or worry with a grateful thought.
I'm still on my journey to be healthy and happy.
I'm still here.