Help is On Its Way (Or How To Buy A Mattress)

To celebrate 18 years of back breaking work,  I went out and purchased a new King-sized mattress at a store my brother Ayo recommended.
Mattress shopping is a rather peculiar yet amusing experience.
I had to lie on a couple of mattress in the showroom for about 15 minutes per bed just to make the right decision.
Doing Musical Beds at the store could ostensibly find oneself in bed with a complete stranger.
To ensure that this did not happen to me, I enlisted my sales rep Lillian,  a Grandmother to 83 children,  to be my bed mate on my favored finalists.
They are not cheap--these mattresses and since we average 2,688 hours/year in bed, I wanted to do a thorough consumer job.
The mattress we are replacing is about 11 years old.
Mattress sellers recommend you change your mattress every 6-8 years, or else they are out of business.
Steve's back tells us that the time is now.
A mattress' life depends on the quality of care.
Apparently you are not supposed to wait until your back hurts before you rotate and flip your mattress.
It should be done regularly once in 3-6 months. Hhmm. So every time I wash our bedsheets?
(I know gross. whatever)
Will put 'rotate mattress' into my phone calendar so that an alarm will remind me to do this, just like dental appointments, mammograms and other maintenance appointments necessary for life's quality control.

Speaking of quality control--
The other day Steve called me and asked me if I played a trick on him.
After going to the bathroom, he noticed a little round sticker at the tip of his...well, you know.
It said: Inspected by 94.
Apparently it comes off of new underwear really easily but on skin?
Not that easy.

Our new mattress was just delivered today but we won't get to sleep on it much because Steve and I are going away to attend pictures here --->  a wedding at the Central Park BoatHouse.
When we come back I am hoping that our new mattress will not only help Steve's back but be the impetus for our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.
That's what the brochure for the mattress company claims anyway.
If not, I never signed an
indemnity agreement so at the very least I should get my money back.

Have a good weekend.