I work closely with a female colleague to the point that people in the office joke that we're each others' "work spouse." That's all we do-work together (honest!) But my wife is growing more and more jealous and is constantly making critical comments about this woman. When I come home after work, she blasts me with questions: What did we do today? Did we have lunch together? etc. Her jealousy is causing undue strain in our marriage. Should I ask to be reassigned?
~Strained
Dear Strained,
I don't know your background nor the obstacles you and your wife have had that have led you to where you are today. This makes it impossible to answer the simplistic question as to whether you should ask to be reassigned. However, if I had 60 seconds to yell at you and your wife without the benefit of such information-- this is what I would say to both of you:
Think of marriage as a nautical journey.
Are you both good people on board this marriage?
Do you want to get to the same place?
Do you want to be on the same boat?
If the answer is yes then follow this advice:
To Mrs. Strained,
Acknowledge your husband's ability to captain your marital ship.
Know that he will steer clear of ugly weather and navigate around maelstroms.
Tell him that you trust and respect that his seafaring skills will lead you through the relationship tides.
The more you believe in him, then the more resolve he will have to focus on avoiding unfavorable boating conditions. The most potent of whirlpools are created in narrow shallow straits with fast flowing water.
(And no, I am not calling your husband's female colleague narrow, shallow nor fast)
Respect his judgment.
To Mr. Strained,
Powerful whirlpools have killed unsuspecting seafarers.
However, there has never been a CNN report of a large boat ever sucked into a whirlpool.
Be large!
Protect, appreciate and love your first mate.
When she is busy screaming:
"maelstrom! maelstrom!"
know that she screams only because she is afraid that she is losing her captain.
Reassure your wife that you are her rudder.
I repeat, REASSURE HER of your love.
Tell her that you love how she runs your ship's engine.
To both of you,
Remember that there is a calm after every storm.
Reinforce and strengthen your boat at every chance you get.
The key is to try and avoid turbulent weather but if all else fails and the rough seas make you sick, know that vomit is good chum.
This will make the conditions good for fishing.
X
