For about two weeks I had been experiencing excruciating breast pain.
The type that hurt just to walk.
After consulting with a couple of quacks I socialize with, I was diagnosed with
Fibrocyctic Breasts. (FB)
A benign condition, but painful.
Aside from age, hormone changes etc--some believe that caffeine exacerbates it.
So I quit coffee.
And I unearthed that prescription for that mammogram that I still had not scheduled.
The idea of a mammogram, which is a breast squashing x-ray, under these conditions freaked me. I tried to wriggle my way out of it--but I was told though that since there is no way of knowing when the FB will cease--I should not postpone it.
Last Monday, right before the mammogram-- I downed three,
THREE Hoegaarden beers
before Steve and the girls dropped me off at the hospital.
(Because one should never drink and drive)
Considering the pain I was in (albeit dulled by the Belgian beer),
a mammogram is not the worst thing in the world.
In fact, I can name three things worse than a mammogram:
1. a root canal.
2. a tonsillectomy.
3. getting lice.
Anyway, as I was standing half-naked in front of the machine, the technician said:
"oh step back honey--we have to switch these compression paddles to the smallest ones we have"
X
