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11.16.2006

Litmus Test

"Who the hell does she think she is?"
is what my friend Michelle's thought balloon reads whenever she sees someone wearing a hat. She can't explain it--it just happens. Like unverbalized tourettes, she can't help it. Hat. Hell.
Steve is automatically annoyed with complete strangers who wear the collars of their shirts turned up.
Personally, I like hats and I think turned up collars are sexy in an 80's Patrick Dempsey way.
My trigger for evil-thoughts-directed-at-complete-strangers is the non-return of grocery carts.
The minute I see someone leave their cart in an undesignated area I immediately form strong negative opinions of that person.
I think:
a) they have a misguided sense of entitlement.
b) they chew with their mouth open.
c) they do not pick up after their dog.

I know this seems rather harsh considering there are some establishments that do not make it convenient to do the cart return.
I am not claiming to be right.
The act of the cart return just happens to be my litmus test.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you, thank you! I am truly honored to be mentioned in your blog. And I would like to say to all the other nominees that I admire your work and am proud to be included amongst such amazing talent. I'd also like to thank all you crazy chicks in hats... without you, such offensive comments would not be possible! Lastly I want to thank God, the Academy, and my fan... the only person who has ever actually quoted me...Chesca. You truly are my inspiration. Thank you! Good Night!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Carole King2:48 PM

    Mine is a man in a red Porsche...just kidding Steve

    ReplyDelete

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