Untangled

The entire essay here.

Excerpt:
"Because we must surround ourselves with people who have surrendered to the surprising power of grief and grace. We must insist on building marriages and families and friendships and communities
in which the mess is embraced instead of ignored,
in which blame is subordinated to hope,
in which fault is exchanged for fixing,
and in which repair and redemption become the universal language spoken by all.
Life is broken and messy. Instead of pointing fingers at each other, may we join each other, and point them onward."
-Kelly Flanagan

--------------------
After a loss the previous night, (Wednesday) at a venue 20ish miles away,
G's volleyball season officially ended  after the second round of playoffs.
Last night parents and the team celebrated with a pizza party.
G's coach specifically asked for "Kramer" to come.
While Steve would have normally enjoyed doing his Kramer-dominating-the-dojo routine at the parents vs daughters volleyball game--
his 10th and last day of hunting got in the way.
I thank the elk of Colorado for keeping the 13 year olds safe from a spike to the face.

All is well.

Very Grateful

Very grateful for family to go on vacation with.

Very grateful for Simon and Denise who've generously let us use their Florida condo.

While on vacation, I  am trying to stick to my early

morning prayer time.

Their place overlooks a bay that is home to some dolphins.

Very nice view for a morning meditation.

Since my family love to sleep in, it is not difficult to carve alone time in the morning.

This morning I even ran 3 miles before they got up.

And then made them this for breakfast:

After a day at the pool--

We explored an old bookstore  and a groovy vintage store.

Then we hit golf balls at a driving range and surprised friends we've not seen

since we were here last (when K and G were part of their wedding two years ago)

And went out to dinner with them.

Very grateful for friends near and far.

The Vacuum-sealed Feeling

The inside of my car has a vacuum-sealed feel after I get home from driving the girls to school.  

I usually don't drive with music on, as I find that to be distracting, but the immediate silence that ensues once I pull into my driveway and shut off the engine is almost nirvana (yes, it does not take much)

Sitting in my parked car for a little period of time is both comforting and balancing (until the air gets stale).

.

The quiet pause gives me time to reflect on where or what I've been through--and it allows me to take a breath before I get on with my day (or as I said, before the air gets stale)

Despite the fact that my kids could catch the school bus that drives by our house every morning--I choose to drive them.

The brief drive allows us a moment of prayer and intention setting.

That conscious moment of zen in my driveway becomes an added benefit.

Be well.

Bacon Wrapped Hotdogs

...flanked by avocados and sour cream almost brought tears to my eyes a few minutes ago.
As I took a bite, a most joyful smile involuntarily flashed from my face that made both Kika and Gabi beam right back.
This is a first.
We've not ever radiated pure happiness over a hotdog before.

Using a stove top grill (a regular frying pan will do)
Fry the hotdogs but not too much.
Take a piece of bacon and wrap it around the pre-fried hotdog.
Fry the hotdog again until the bacon is seared.
With a generous dollop of sour cream on one side and slices of avocado on the other, serve on a hotdog bun.

Happy Saturday To All,
May whoever reads this post be blessed with food, the company of loving people and inner peace.

I Bought These For Myself This Morning.

"What you do for yourself-any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself-will affect how you experience your world. In fact, it will transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you're doing for others, and what you do for others, you're doing for yourself."
~Pema Chodron: author of 'Start Where You Are.'

I've been reading this book intermittently.
It is not easy to read.
In fact last night when I had trouble sleeping, I started reading it and it knocked me out.
You should get this book.
It is written by a buddhist nun. Do not let its Kung Fu-esque content turn you away.
I like how she writes honestly about the messiness of life and how she directs her readers to acknowledge their faults instead of repressing them.
I am nowhere near being done with this book (As I said, its not easy to read)
But what I am getting so far is this:
1. Living honestly helps humans work around their flaws.
2. Admit our yuckiness to ourselves but do not kick yourself (for an extended period of time!) be more gentle and less harsh--
3. We can start right now. When we mess up, we can start again.
I plan to put myself in lockdown and read this book from cover to cover.
If I do not answer texts, emails or phonecalls it is because I am busy enjoying my flowers while starting where I am.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Be Well.

I opened our front door and observed that unlike yesterday's rainy morning--

Today looked good.
After driving the girls to school,
I pulled into our driveway, turned the engine off and just sat.
(I did not have a car for a week and although this gave me limitless excuses to stay in--I am thankful to have it back)
While sipping the homemade coffee in my travel mug,
I checked some email.
I read a few online articles (what a gift this smartphone is.)
And just as I was thinking of going into our house and beginning my day,
I decided to blog with my gifted phone.
There is something about sitting in a parked car, with the windows up, muffling the sounds of the world that is quite peaceful.
The enclosed space feels very secure and cocoon like.

The ability to choose when to move and when to stay still is something to be grateful for.

Dear Charissa,

You will be happy to know that yesterday, Steve, Jimmy and Ayo planted two trees beside Dad's grave. Our brothers were extremely amused by what they called, Steve's style of "pogo stick jumping on the shovel" in order to dig the holes.
And to make up for that "frog incident in 1973" (that they still staunchly deny culpability)
They did discourage Steve from his plan to bury a fake skeleton hand for you to "unearth"
during your next gardening session at the cemetery.
Now that is brotherly love.
Just thought you should know.
Love you,
Chesca

TGIF

~I am grateful for love and support.
~I am grateful for family.
~I am grateful that yesterday, our two daughters were able to participate in their school's amusement park day picnic.  Because I could not be there, two other mothers took our kids with them.
~I am grateful for rain watering the plants that I have been unable to tend to.
~I am grateful that we have $65.00
~I am grateful for all this Grace that is being showered upon me.

What are you grateful for?

Tips for Living Well

What We Say should reflect What We think

this does not mean an all out rude fest. all this means is that we should train our brain to stop thinking ill thoughts. if we can accomplish this feat, then what we say can always be in harmony with what we think.


Live a Balanced Life

just like in kindergarten (or the eco-system)--everything in moderation is the key to a good life.

Be Courageous

A few examples:
making a drastic change to improve one's life,
being the unpopular voice (sometimes known as the voice of reason),
speaking up when it matters,
breaking something in order to fix something,
jumping into untested waters.

Be Generous

share a part of yourself whether it be time, money, or both. HOWEVER, it is important to remember that we should give as much as we receive if we are to maintain balance and harmony. giving too much of oneself in an unbalanced manner results in the depletion of one's spirit. being able to define the right amount of what is shared requires courage.

Be Happy

focus on anything and everything that has brought joy to your life. waste no time on anything that hasn't.

like enjoying this 3.21.2007 conversation with my 6 yr.old:

G: "was Jesus ever bad?"
Me: "no."
G: "you mean he never sneezed on anybody accidentally?"
Me: "not that i know of"
G: "man he's good!"

Be Organized

start by purging all that is unneccessary.
saving something because you don't want to waste it does no good.
remember what is old to you is new to someone else and may bring more pleasure to the next person.
case in point, check out my new shoes:

yesterday my friend Clarissa cleaned out her closet. she gave me these fabulous Jimmy Choos. (woo hoo!)
with organization comes cleanliness. i am learning that it is a heck of a lot easier to clean when there is less stuff. (a shout out to tsbowser)

Be A Beautiful Person Inside and Out.

this morning my 8 yr old asked me to stand outside with them while waiting for the bus.
i said, "no i'll watch from here (from inside the glass door)-- i'm ugly"
(you know, coyote-ugly morning look)
her response: "you are beautiful on the inside"

inner beauty: check.

Have Wisdom.

those of us not born with this inherent characteristic should be willing to learn from those who do know how to live well.
typically people that live well are beautiful people
(and i don't mean this in a Cosmopolitan Magazine sort of way either)
they live in harmony and balance.
they have courage.
they are generous.
they live clean and happy lives...and
have the wisdom to be grateful* for everything.

Two authors have written about this--Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book Simple Abundance is highly recommended. Suze Orman (not that i'm a fan) calls this the 8 qualities of wealthy women but I decided to give it a universal adaptation because although it made sense to me, the title somehow rubbed me the wrong way.


*speaking of which, TGIF--i am grateful for trader joe's chocolate lava cakes, kids are half-day today, steve and my shoes. how about you?

The Skinny Cook

Stef Glassee aka The Skinny Cook, a Belgian Chef living in Malaysia
featured one of my quick dinner stand-bys in his site
Quick Dinner Recipes. Check it out.

If this is not appealing to you, there is always
Trader Joe's Gorgonzola Cheese Ravioli ($2.99)
which is one thing I am grateful for on TGIF
(That I am Grateful for I will list on Fridays)
along with:
-my family
-inspiration
-sleep
-rain (i am trying to convince myself)

What are you grateful for?

TGIF *

"The sure-thing boat never gets far from the shore" ~Dale Carnegie

This is my entry for a photo contest at this site.
The voting starts today March 9th and ends on the 11th.
Go there, look at the other entries and then vote accordingly.
It all started when Write from Karen wrote to me saying that I should pick out a coffee mug I won from her blog.
I wish I could say it was my writing skills that won me the mug but it wasn't.
I just commented more than once. okay 4 times
(hey I've been around the blog a few times)--so as I went to claim it, I suddenly found myself sucked into this photo contest.
(Steve, I swear this is not all I do everyday).

Asked to post an original picture of what inspires me--I picked this.
I took this photo on my 40th birthday in Key West Florida.
These two boats in the picture tell me:
1. Sometimes we have to take risks in order to succeed.
2. No matter how small we may seem in this universe, we can make a difference.

This inspires my "Helping Hams" project.

When I said vote accordingly, I meant vote for me.

*As part of TGIF (That I am Grateful for, I will list on Fridays):
-healthy children, finally G is done with the flu.
-opportunity
-a large dollop of cool whip on my hazelnut coffee with hazelnut coffemate creamer
-steve (who is thankful for the higher sun angle)
-friends like you (aaawww)