X

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2.06.2007

Brains trump Face any time


My grandfather was a physician.
My aunt is a physician.
Many of my friends and a couple of cousins went into medicine.
Because of doctors' intelligence, compassion and dedication to a
time-greedy career--
medicine has always been one of if not the most respected professions.
I have always admired doctors.
When Steve and I met in a Refugee Camp 15 years ago because of our work,
I was impressed that he was a doctor, not for any other reason other than the fact that it meant he was smart.
However, having moved to the States from the Philippines, I was introduced to the snarky term
"Doctor's Wife."
Examples of usage:
"well if she is content to be just a doctor's wife..."
"oh, she is a typical doctor's wife..."
" she's a doctor's wife, she wouldn't understand..."
I didn't understand.
The term 'doctor's wife' here seemed synonymous with being stupid.
Where I am from, a doctor does not marry stupid. A doctor marries bright.
A doctor enjoys the intellectual connection with a spouse.
I wondered if the fact that doctors in the Philippines were not wealthy had anything to do with it.
So if it's about money, perhaps "doctor's wife" is actually a disparaging term towards the doctor and not his wife.
How come the term "Successful Business Man's Wife" does not exist?
or "Pro-Golfer's Wife?" or "CEO's Wife?"
Why pick on doctors?
Are the long hours of work, exhorbitant student loans, years of grueling training and malpractice insurance rates not punishment enough?
Steve is a hard working cardiologist.
The burden of one's own life is already heavy, let alone the responsibility over someone else's life.
He feels.
(I know that me saying this is surprising since I often call him a shell of a human being as a husband, but never as a physician)
He is compassionate.
He is also extremely generous (hey, it sounds like I actually love him)
And that after working long hours he takes it upon himself to do the groceries,
check homework, attend parent teacher conferences and meetings, love my family and my culture, play ping-pong with the children, serve lunch at school when needed and rub my back (in exchange I remain silent while he watches tv).
So what's not to like? (wait, don't answer that)
Besides I like smart, and who wouldn't?
Granted enjoying a medical drama is a bit difficult with a voice scoffing in the background:
"I can't believe they called that V-Tach"
"CPR is not to be performed on a live person who is not in full cardiac arrest"
"that X-ray in 'scrubs' is hung backwards,"
it is a small price to pay.
In the world that I am from, brains trump face any time.
I am lucky enough to have found someone who has both.

Happy Birthday, Steve.
I love you.